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Sex Dreams

A few weeks ago I got back into the habit of logging my dreams into my dream diary, upon looking back into it I noticed that I couldn’t remember many of the dreams I had previously jotted down and what’s more that a large percentage of the dreams I felt worthy of noting for future reference all seemed to follow a theme of prositution, debauchery and sex with pretty much all of my close friends. So I thought for a laugh, and because I haven’t written anything for a while that I’d publish the saucy side of my dreams…

Women

Women. Over the journey of my life they have been my best friends and worst enemies. With just one simple sentence they have the ability to fill me with confidence or leave me a broken and emotional mess. ‘The only species on earth that can rip your heart out of your chest and smile at you at the same time whilst they stamp it into the ground’ a close friend of mine once said. But regardless of my apparent contempt for the lot of them, I do acknowledge that they have been the ones who have gone far out of…

Glastonbury 2013

It always takes me a week to gather up my thoughts on the annual Glastonbury festival and again this year has been no exception. It’s been a standard recovery, I’ve mainly been boshing valium and getting pissed. I spent an evening with a very lovely lady. I missed out on another dream job. Took a trip to Brighton to see a very dear friend and clear my head but spunked a load money in a strip club whilst there. I then cycled the near 60 miles home. It was a nice trip and a visit to see Michelle always clears…

Fetishes and fantasies I have known and loved

My celibacy continues. Not through choice but through circumstance I suppose. I did have a date during the time from when last I posted, a nice day out it was too. A few drinks in an ale pub, a walk through a food and drink festival on the Southbank, then a gig and what I suppose you’d call an after party with a couple of her friends who were both interesting and lovely people. It was certainly one of my more fun dates, however a few ‘how’s it going’ texts and email correspondents later and she quite abruptly shot me…

Having a dead libido

I’ve been pretty quiet with writing recently. This is an accumulation of a few things; Firstly a few problems in my personal life. The details of which I won’t bore you with, but it has made it harder to just spontaneously start writing about the thoughts in my head. Also another inevitable problem which I foresaw happening when I started writing this thing and that is that I’m very quickly running out of things to write about. Infact my last sexy adventure happened literally the night before I was persuaded to start writing this blog, and what’s even more…

Paying For It….

When I was in my first year of university I was having a conversation with this one chap, I cant remember his name and I think he left after the first year. But anyway we was talking about birds and he was telling me about this bird he pulled one night after buying her shit loads of drinks, a takeaway and fronting the money for the cab home and then after all that he said the sex was shit. I suggested he should have saved the effort and spent all that money on a hooker instead. He got a bit…

The Joy of Watersports

In my somewhat short experience of exploring kinky sex, I have found that I have been able to explore the dark caves of ones sexual psyche, not because of what I’ve thought up and suggested to my friend at the time, but because the majority of the birds I’ve ended up with have all been pure filth. ‘What she asked of me at the end of the day, Caligula would of blushed’ as Morrissey said, and as per usual he was right. Now I’ve pushed the boat out during sex on many occasions, if you’re going to do a job…

Sex, Drugs and Out in the Open

The other day whilst thinking of content for this humble musing, I started to think over not just my successes but also my missed opportunities. Anyone who is successful at anything will probably give the same advice ‘always learn from your mistakes’. This is sound advice unless like me you are someone who makes his lion’s share of his mistakes whilst under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol. I also started to reflect on all my experiences of having sex in public places and have found an interesting correlation between blowing it with birds – being shit faced –…

Casual sex and the tale of the northern bird

Now that I am on my 3rd ‘confession’ as it were, I think its only fitting to convey a bit of my sexual history as well as also my feelings on casual sex. Now there’s 3 kinds of casual sex: the one night stand, the brief fling and the casual relationship. I’ll touch on casual relationships some other time but until then I’ll focus on the first two. I find that a fair amount of people I know run by the ethos of only having sex with someone who they really feel really emotionally attached with, and who will not…

Some girls are bigger then others

When I started to write this blog I began to reflect on the number of girls that I’ve had it off with. I’m still not sure but it’s between 15 and 20. The reason I cant remember the exact number is probably because I was either too drunk or totally uninspired by the experience, but also because the vast majority of it was totally meaningless. Having given it a good hard think though, I reckon I’m on 17. Judging that since the age of 19 I’ve averaged 4 birds a year, adding on the few scattered experiences before that leading…

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