A few weeks ago I got back into the habit of logging my dreams into my dream diary, upon looking back into it I noticed that I couldn’t remember many of the dreams I had previously jotted down and what’s more that a large percentage of the dreams I felt worthy of noting for future reference all seemed to follow a theme of prositution, debauchery and sex with pretty much all of my close friends. So I thought for a laugh, and because I haven’t written anything for a while that I’d publish the saucy side of my dreams for all to see.
Now in this particular entry I will be using the real names of the people involved, mainly because I think it would be pointless and boring if I just released my surreal dreams with a load of essentially made up characters in them, but also because it’s interesting just what friends have popped up where and in what situations it is I have shagged them in my slumber.
Now I suppose I should say before I go on that if you notice that you or your wife, father, husband, sister, mother, brother, girlfriend, boyfriend, slave or master has appeared in one of my subconscious adventures remember that I have absolutely no control over whether you get offended, angry, disturbed or aroused by this, just like I have no control over the dreams themselves. Like fictitious films, books or works of other art they are not real.
I suppose also what you will notice is that some of the names are quite common and many of my friends share them, for instance I know a few Amy’s, a number of Sarah’s and a couple of Josh’s and a few Sam’s to which if you want to differentiate whether they are male or female is up to you. But one bit of advice I will give you when reading this, is that if you think it is you then it probably is.
There’s a few other details that I find rather interesting about the emerging pattern of the people that appear, firstly about %90 of them I have no actually physically attraction towards, they are mostly platonic friends, secondly very few of the girls that appear I have actually had sex with and as for the blokes I have shagged in my dreams that’s a different matter altogether. But I put this down to my reasoning to note the dream down. When I have sex with someone I want to shag in a dream its not particularly record worthy, when I wake up after just having a threesome with two friends I’ve never seen in the same room together, I think that’s worthy of noting down.
Another reoccurring theme seems to be how I have sex with them and how far I actually get before waking up. Now I write in this diary as soon as I awake from the dream when its at its most fresh and I am admittedly still in a sleepy state, and I’ve noticed as you will too that whenever I engage in a sex act within the dream I very rarely get passed the point of oral, if I do I will always describe the initiation of sex as ‘they then bend over and present themselves for sex’ so all of my sub conscious sex is done doggy style and I never actually see the face of the person when I’m fucking them, apart from maybe the odd exception.
You will also notice that I can never recall the names of everyone I have sex with in the dreams, a few of them are just described as ‘a guy I went to a school with’ ‘a bird I recognise from work’ or just as anonymous unrecognisable characters.
So here are a list of my noted sex dreams, I have touched them up a bit since the grammar is mostly below my usual sub standard, mainly because I’ve just woken up. Anyway here you go enjoy.
Me and Josh are cruising through a huge brothel in a foreign country, I go about looking in the labyrinth of rooms for hookers to shag, get a quote from an asian hooker and look for a cash point, along the way we stop in a live sex show room, where I tell a geezer who keeps staring at me to fuck off and Josh has a go at me for being rude. I eventually find another asian hooker willing to have sex with the both of us for 150 euro. I wake up
I dream I am standing at the door of my house on 127 Plumstead high street. All the shops are empty apart from what used to the bakery and the cash and carry which are seedy looking brothels. I go into one of the shops and see there is a whole in the wall with a woman’s mouth at the end when I look to my side I see there are rows of holes just like this, and people are pissing in them. I leave the shop and walk down the street to see that all the other shops are either empty or boarded up. Even the Volunteer pub is stripped bare and every shop is a white colour inside. The high street is completely empty in the day when it is usually always busy. The only shop that remains is Chick N Chips. I go in and talk with the owner, but the shop is different some how. I order £10 worth of product then make my way back to the house where there seems to be a party happening. I realise that I have forgotten the bag of food I have ordered. Cut then to being in my old room with Anya, we are talking but she seems drunk. We kiss each other once, then she tries again but I pull away. She gets to her knees and starts to pull out my cock. I wake up.
I am sat around Josh’s flat (Now old flat) everyone seems to be asleep and I am chatting with Ness and Kush, the dream then cuts to their bedroom and Ness asks me if I would like to watch her and Kush fuck. I say yes and watch aroused. Then I wake up.
What I find most interesting about that one is I then had a similar voyeuristic one involving the same people not too long after, however I didn’t note it down. Not too long ago though this one then entered my diary…
We are sat around in Les’s old living room, except it seems bigger and a bed is in the middle of the room. I am sat on a sofa and there are sleeping people around me. Ness approaches me and starts to seduce me, I remind her that Kush is sleeping just behind her, but she ignores me, she starts to rub her crotch in my face the sucks my cock for some time, then I wake up.
Again what is interesting about that is the location. I don’t think I’ve even mentioned my mate Les to Ness or Kush, the fact that they’d be in a version of his living room is really quite strange.
I am walking through the woods with several of my friends, we are talking as normal. Me and Sarah then begin to part from the crowd and are worried that we might be lost, we catch up with Amy. The two of them then push me into deep into the woods further away from the crowd and the two of them pull down my trousers and both start to suck my cock. I wake up
Again what is interesting about this is that at the time of posting it, neither of these girls had been in the same room together.
I am in the cellar of Earls Court with a bloke I recognize from school, we are wondering through the endless corridors looking for somewhere to fuck. We lose patience and he starts to suck my cock, he then bends over and presents himself for me to fuck him. I wake up
We arrive at Bestival, there is a bit where I find lots of pills hidden in the grass, I go to suck on one, put it back in the baggie and all the pills congeal as if they were mints, later on someone drinking a milk shake is rude to me because I smiled at them. I explain the only reason I smiled is because their milkshake looked nice and I was going to ask where they got it. I then called him a nob. I later find this milkshake stand which is like a shakeaways as you can put all kinds of sweets in your milkshake, but the man wouldnt let me have the combination I like so I leave. I find my friends –cant remember who and get out the ball of congealed pills to show them what had happened, we go back to the tent and I take all my drugs out and put them in my pocket, knowing I should be careful incase I lose them. Later on I am walking round with dave and I see the guy who was rude to me earlier, he sees me and insults me again, later we see him again with his mates and me and dave hurl abuse at them, we get into a scrap and the man goads me to kick him in the face but I just cant do it. Later on I am man handled by police over to this area which is like a prison yard, they said that someone had matched the description of someone who was in the possession of drugs, I then start to begrudge taking all my drugs out the tent. They tell me that they will confiscate them if I have any and them they will take my wristband and leave it up to someone at the festival if I can have it back. The policeman finds my congealed pills, but not the 3 bags of jonny in the same pocket. They then cut off my wristband with a pair of bolt cutters. Upset I go back to the camp and tell everyone I have to leave Dom calls me into her tent and tells me to eat her out. I do exactly that then we start to fuck. I wake up
What I find funny about that one in particular is how it all of sudden went from usual eventful yet surreal dream to all of a sudden taking a turn for the saucy with Dom and that was my cue for waking up. What was also interesting about that is that is the only dream where I’m not fucking someone from behind. Dom also appears in this rather disgusting entry…
Me and Dom are walking through a wet cave, we continue to walk into the darkness when all of a sudden we can hear a tide start to come in and this seems to be a cue for Dom to start sucking my cock. She then bends over and presents herself for sex. I start to fuck her arse then as I pull out a torrent of thick, dark green discharge shoots out over me. The shock of which wakes me up.
This particular dream kept me quite shaken for the rest of the day, and this is actually the first time I have ever read it back to myself.
I am sitting in a cinema with Sam and Amy the film we are watching keeps stopping and the crowd get restless. Wondering what to do Amy says to us, that she’s always wanted to watch the two of us fuck each other, Sam starts to suck my cock as a result and Amy is fingering herself watching. I wake up.
I am on a Ferry to Ireland, there are several other people I recognize in the dream. The weather takes a turn and we are instructed to go inside to our cabins. I am sharing a cabin with Becca and as the weather gets worse we decide we should have sex, she turns around and bends over so I can fuck her. I start to fuck her for a bit then I wake up.
This starts off a bit a nautical theme, the following short entry in the diary is also set at sea…
Me and Josh are on a dingy in the ocean. All of a sudden we decide to have sex. I start to suck his cock, and then he does mine. He then bends over so that I can fuck him. I wake up.
I am in the living room of my old child minders house. Oddly I recognize the family but they appear much older. Me and my friends are having a party whilst they are roaming around seeming unhappy. All of a sudden the party spills out onto the streets. I am then alone in an empty living room with Hayley and Holly. We decide to have sex. Hayley sucks my dick and Holly goes to sit on my face, by which time I wake up.
Now the next dream is particularly mental because not only does it involve a graphic orgy but also the people interacting in it are from different periods of my life. I seem to remember it being particularly lucid and I also remember being very disappointed when I woke up.
I am at Glastonbury, everybody is naked. I bump into Sam and ask him what he has been up to these last few years. We walk around and he asks me if I have seen the sex tent. This tent is filled with people shagging, I don’t recognise any of them. Next I know I am on my back and an old work colleague whos name I cant remember is blowing me off. I go to suck Sam’s cock and when I look down again the bird has been replaced by Michelle who is fingering my arse and laughing at me. I go back to suck Sam’s cock and he is replaced the site of Alan shagging another anonymous bird, I look back down and Holly has replaced Michelle, she is being fucked by Dan from behind. I wake up.
So that’s all the saucy material that has ended up in my dreams. There are probably a lot more but I was never able to jot them down and as a result I’ve completely forgot about them. Upon reading them back I have noticed that nearly all of them apart from the odd couple that go off on different tangents that they just revolve around sex. I suppose when you have dreams that involve shagging your mates this will be the main theme that sticks out. I do wonder what some of them say about my psyche, or what some of them may symbolise. Going to a sex festival where all of a sudden different birds and blokes from different periods of my life start having sex with me and everyone around them cant just be a matter of my mind just having a jolly whilst I’m asleep? Or maybe it can?
What I also remember from having the dreams is that they usually wake me up when its time for me to wake up. I’m either woken up by my alarm or its just a suitable time to get up, not like 5am or anything, and also despite not having any sexual attraction to the majority of the friends involved, I am usually always aroused when I wake up. But then again who isn’t after a sex dream?
So if anyone with a knowledge on the meaning of dreams can decipher any meaning from any of them entries then please get in touch, it would be interesting to find out a bit more on them. Also don’t be offended if you haven’t appeared in my dreams yet, likelyness is that I’m saving you for the real thing!
Play me out Mozzer….