My first threesome

A mate of mine said I should write a blog about my sexual experiences. Personally I think most of my sexual experiences are vulgar, depressing and depraved but I’m prepared to honestly recount my most memorable ones in full gory detail. So I thought I’d start with a humorous one I often like to think back on.

Now I don’t know how many of you have had threesomes with your best friends before, but in my experience they have been the funniest sexual experiences I’ve ever had. Would you like to hear it? Ofcourse you fucking would.

So on a fine spring afternoon back I 2007 me and my then best friend in the world at the time were hanging around Regents Park being 17 year old lads. Drinking cheap cider and smoking spliffs, waiting to see a band at the Underworld that evening, As the afternoon wore on my friend got a text from his birds mate asking if she could tag along with us to the gig that evening. ‘ofcourse, infact we’re just across the road from you in the park, come and join us’ was probably the response my friend replied with. Now this bird who’s name escapes me now, was a cute pint sized, Latvian, ‘scene’ girl. Poroxide hair, plugs in her ears, face clustered with piercings. She was friendly, full os smiles and good chat and we got on quite well to start so I kind of liked her. So we go to the gig, I don’t remember who played. Then aftewards she invites us to crash at her place. At this point I would like to say that neither of us had any saucy intentions and were just grateful for a nearby bed for the evening.

So we end up back at her huge room in this massive house, with a couple of tins of lagar and about a spliff worth of weed. Things are innocent for a while until I start to notice that Helen is sat in between both me and Steve on the bed with her hands on both our legs, I take it as just a friendly gesture but my mate being the Lothario he was played on the gesture by also rubbing his hand from her leg to up her skirt. The playfullness of which almost forced her to react by sticking her tounge in his mouth. Now at this point I start to wonder what I should do in this situation; Do I let them get on with it? Do I make an excuse to leave? This could get awkward very quickly… But whilst this is running through my mind I notice that Helen is blatantly rubbing my thickening cock whilst matey has a few of his fingers well inside of this birds pussy. Within a matter of minutes and after a few giggles both Steve and myself are getting sucked off, we turn to look at each other with cheeky grins. Steve then changes his position so that he is eating her cunt whilst she is showing great enthusiasm as well as great skill at sucking my cock. The atmosphere in the room is now very steamy and things get even more saucy when Helen turns to my friend and says in her filthiest Latvian accent ‘fuck my pussy as hard as you can!’ of course he does what he’s told, whilst she then changes her blow job technique to what they call in the business as ‘throat fucking’.

So we find ourselves in a text book spit roast position. My best friend ploughing away from behind, me drilling in from the front end and her in the middle slobbering, moaning with pleasure and also shouting what I think were Latvian obscenities. When I look up at my pal and he looks at me and two of us deliver that kind of laugh that you do when you’re really trying to hold it in but it’s just too impossible to do so, and yes there was very nearly a moment where we high fived each other at this point. Matey eventually unloads inside of her and then the encounter is finished by the bird fingering his load out of her cunt, then sucking herself clean, which in reflection is the only moment of that session that I sometimes still pull out of the wank bank.

A moment I do look back on and often chuckle about was the the next day and me and my mate are sat in The Worlds End, we have not mentioned a word of what has happened the night before up until this point. Was almost like the night before was just like any other night. I sit down placing our 2 drinks on table look at him and say ‘Well I have to say when I woke up yesterday I would of never of predicted my night was going to end like that’ to which the two of us pissed ourselves laughing solidly for what seemed like ages. He then fell silent, frowned, looked up and gave me an expression that I will never forget. that kind of look someone gives you when they’ve just realized they’ve followed through on a fart. His grin dropped and it suddenly dawned on him this wasn’t some floosy we’d picked up from the gig, it was his girlfriends mate. ‘What have we done?’ he said looking like he was going to burst into tears. ‘don’t look at me mate I only had sex with her mouth’ was my reply.

Now the reason I look back at this memory so fondly is not because it was my first experience of group sex but it was when I realized just how fun and silly sex actually is, and seeing how doing things with your mates is a lot more fun then doing it alone, it only makes sense that getting a mate involved when shagging a bird will double the fun. What I also found hilarious was that there we were having what would be considered rough sex by even the most experienced of shaggers and the two of us just saw it as a jolly activity being enjoyed by 2 pals. What was most satisfying when I look back on the experience was the fact that she thoroughly enjoyed herself. I’m pretty sure her orgasm wasn’t a fake and she got to have sex with me and a my mate at the same time! In the morning she gave the two of us a friendly kiss and thanked us for the night before. I never saw her again and me and that particular friend had a falling out a few years ago, but even to this day I think back to me and him making eye contact and laughing at the peak of the sex act and it still makes me smile.

Threesomes with your mates. I highly recommend them

Play me out Mozzer